i cannot believe it is only wednesday.

something sad happened today. dr. ellis, the psychiatrist we have been working with for a year or so- died today. my boss called me after work to let me know. it's sad.
he was 80. and he had health problems. but we loved him just the same.
the funeral is on tuesday. sherri said we should be able to go if we want to, but i'm undecided so far on if i want to go. i know that sounds terrible, but i don't do funerals very well. i mean- who does really. no one is like 'yay a funeral! let' go!'. but i think i feel like it would be weird to go. so many people who were so important to him. and me and sherri and jake. random. i just don't know.

and now we have to tell our clients. that is not going to go well. this is going to be stressful. i know i may seem detached, because for all intensive purposes i am. but it's weird. i Knew him. i saw him once a week at work. i got him water or coffee and bothered him a million times a day on thursdays. and yet i feel reserved. i am thinking about my clients and how to tell them and how we are going to have to deal with this. and it's like i won't let myself think about it on a personal level. perhaps it's just easier that way.

fuck. i have to get up in less than 7 hours.