compartmentalized

lately my life feels very compartmentalized. like i fit into tiny boxes, depending on where i am or what i am doing. and i can turn things on and off in each box. it is a strange feeling. and i honestly don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. it's just the way things feel.

for instance. i have one box for work. at work, i am professional. and tired. i get along well with my clients. yet when i am alone in my office i can't really focus or get enough things done. i have just enough energy to deal with my clients when they are there. then all bets are off. this is a bad thing, and i do not know how to fix it. my mood is ok when i'm at work, and i don't talk about my personal life with anyone there (with few exceptions. or if i'm on gchat).

then there is my home box. i do my normal things. i watch tv, attempt to clean up. i have to take care of things like getting the god damn oven fixed. take care of gizmo. go to the gym. listen to music. vacuum. veg out. i will also put my friends into this box, because seeing them is part of my 'normal' things. talk to friends on the phone. make plans. go out. talk about life. i can complain to them, or not. i have fun and try not to think about work at all.

now there is a colin box. when i'm with colin i don't really think about work. i don't feel tired, like i do when i am at work. but i also don't care as much about the things that happen in the 'home box' either. because i just focus on being with colin. and that is much more fun than being annoyed because i still don't have a stove. with colin i am not annoyed. i mean, i think about life and we talk about stuff. but i just generally feel happier and not stressed. and it is different than the other two boxes of my life.
obviously this is the box i would prefer to hang out in all the time. (clearly i can't do that. because we have to work and tend to our own lives, etc.) but i think that's normal when you just start dating someone. you want to be with them a lot, and hopefully you are the best version of yourself when with them. because that's how the other person makes you feel. i'm sure in time colin and my home self/box will mesh more. and that's fine. to be expected. it's just strange, to feel like you can be so many different versions of yourself.

i don't know what to make of it. so right now i'm not going to try.