they have been predicting a thunderstorm all week. rain, showers, mist, storms. but really the weather wasn't too bad. it was misty yesterday, but nowhere near as bad as they said. then today, after my wonderful day of shopping/errands/relaxing, the storm came. it was brief, but fantastic.
i love thunderstorms- the intense kind where the sky turns green and the raindrops are huge and pounding. you can hear the crack of the lightning and thunder, and then within minutes it's gone.
i had this memory today, during the thunderstorm. i thought about people who hate thunderstorms, and was wondering if gizmo was afraid, and i remembered why i love them. When i was younger, in our old house, my mom had this porch off her bedroom. it had old, creaky furniture- and as time went by we hardly went out there. but when we were young, one day, my mom took us to sit out there during a storm. I think there was a hurricane watch or something, but man, was it storming. we sat on the creaky couch, and she wrapped us up in a blanket as we watched the storm. she made it safe and interesting and special. we sat and watched the sky as the wind and rain swirled around us. and it was awesome.
in other news, things are going well. i'm almost done w/ the god delusion- finally. i'm ready to move on to some good fiction. and it's almost april! time is movingly along shockingly fast. which is a good thing i guess. i'm feeling pretty good, although i could use some more gym time (and maybe some more motivation) and less snacking before this wedding. i've recently become obsessed w/ trail mix- and i make my own from various mixings at wegmans- namely almonds, craisins, raisins, walnuts and chocolate covered raisins. yum. i seem to think this is good for me and i can eat it by the pound. in reality, moderation is key. but hey, i'm still working on it. thats what april is for.
also- i realize that i watch a lot of tv. like, a lot. and i have some thoughts i wanted to share on some of my shows. because, well, just because. ok so american idol- scott blind guy macintire needs to go. yes fine, he's talented for a blind piano player/singer, but he ain't that talented, and he's annoying. also annoying? the fact that they lip synced their group number from last week. lame. oh also- megan joy corkrey? get the hell outta there too. your 'quirky' vocal stylings are not to my liking and i think you're dumb. please leave. i love matt giraud and anoop, and david gokey, although really gokey- tone down the smug attitude. you're a good singer, not michael jackson. work at it a little. oh and can we take off alison's bottom braces please? or hello- ivisiline? you're on tv. i know you're 16- but come on.
moving onto more positive thoughts, saving grace on tnt is an awesome show, and i think everyone should check it out. holly hunter is amazing. she deserves lots of awards. although she is a bit skinny. also- heroes, not so bad this season, if you've stopped watching it cause it sucked, you might want to revisit. and if you want a good new show, try 'lie to me' on fox wednesdays. its cool. and tim roth is really good in it. another thing, grey's anatomy is getting interesting w/ the whole 'izzy being sick' thing. i almost cried last week. it's been a while since that show made me tear up. although i kind of hope they kill her, but they probably won't. i also like owen hunt and his ptsd symptoms. i like shows that can educate the public about real issues that i am interested in. even if it's grey's anatomy. and finally, how i met your mother is still my favorite comedy, it should be yours too, please watch friday night lights on friday for your health and mine, and greek is starting tomorrow night (on abc family), if that's your thing. ok- those are my thoughts on tv. phew.
i got this new nail color today- plum seduction. i think i'm obsessed with it. i hope the weather stays nice this week so i can wear a dress. i love spring dresses. crap, i'm way too wired to go to bed. guess i'll go pound out some god delusion to make me tired. enjoy the rest of your sunday. it was a good one.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Antsy in my Pantsy
I'm restless. I feel like this more often than I should, i guess. But i just get bored and want something to happen. something to make me think, something to make me feel. something to make me move. just something. and i started to get that feeling today at work.
my mom says it's because when my brain isn't doing anything i get like this. perhaps she is right. i don't like to admit those things.
see, i created a new life plan. i call it my 3 year plan, but it could conceivably be done in 2 years. after some long hard thinking, i've decided not to go and get my PsyD. (although I was accepted into Immaculata's program) It's just not for me. I don't want to commit the next five years of my life to working my ass off in school and with a full time job, to get a degree that won't change my life. So instead, i'm going to change my life. Not like, right now or anything, but in the long run. The plan is to get my clinical license (LCSW) over the summer, and ask for a raise (and probably get turned down for said raise). In the fall I will enroll in one or two classes at Chestnut Hill college in trauma studies. They have a trauma studies certificate program that is only 6 classes, and i should be able to complete it in a year or so, while working. It's a much cheaper and more to the point option of furthering my training and education. Then i'll look for a job working with veterans with PTSD. After doing that for a while, i'll re-evaulate and maybe leave philly, or come up with a new plan.
so that's it.
i like my plan. the trouble is, it's still march. and the plan doesn't really go into effect for a few months. so what to do until then? tread water. that's what. and treading water makes me restless. i'm not even enjoying my latest book that much. i'm reading 'the god delusion' by richard dawkins. i went in with high hopes, but he seems to be hell bent on converting people to atheism, and that's not really my bag. and furthermore, i dont like feeling defensive about my beliefs, how small or irrational they may be. they're mine. so i'm basically reading the book for it's scientific facts and arguments, which are interesting at times. but i can't wait to move on to something else. kind of like with the rest of my life.
my mom says it's because when my brain isn't doing anything i get like this. perhaps she is right. i don't like to admit those things.
see, i created a new life plan. i call it my 3 year plan, but it could conceivably be done in 2 years. after some long hard thinking, i've decided not to go and get my PsyD. (although I was accepted into Immaculata's program) It's just not for me. I don't want to commit the next five years of my life to working my ass off in school and with a full time job, to get a degree that won't change my life. So instead, i'm going to change my life. Not like, right now or anything, but in the long run. The plan is to get my clinical license (LCSW) over the summer, and ask for a raise (and probably get turned down for said raise). In the fall I will enroll in one or two classes at Chestnut Hill college in trauma studies. They have a trauma studies certificate program that is only 6 classes, and i should be able to complete it in a year or so, while working. It's a much cheaper and more to the point option of furthering my training and education. Then i'll look for a job working with veterans with PTSD. After doing that for a while, i'll re-evaulate and maybe leave philly, or come up with a new plan.
so that's it.
i like my plan. the trouble is, it's still march. and the plan doesn't really go into effect for a few months. so what to do until then? tread water. that's what. and treading water makes me restless. i'm not even enjoying my latest book that much. i'm reading 'the god delusion' by richard dawkins. i went in with high hopes, but he seems to be hell bent on converting people to atheism, and that's not really my bag. and furthermore, i dont like feeling defensive about my beliefs, how small or irrational they may be. they're mine. so i'm basically reading the book for it's scientific facts and arguments, which are interesting at times. but i can't wait to move on to something else. kind of like with the rest of my life.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Recharging
So i've been gone for a bit. I was busy, then sick. And now i'm getting over my cold and things are going well so I thought it was time to return and share what i've been up to.
First things first- Marc Banks came to visit! It was very exciting, because in the three and a half years that i've lived here he's never come to visit before. (ahem). But he ventured down from Boston for a long weekend- and we had the Best. Time. Ever. Seriously.
Here's proof:
So, here's Marc posing at banana republic- he indulged me and tried on a lot of things. sadly, we left empty handed, but it was fun!
The picture of the two of us was in the back of autumn and aaron's car, when they graciously gave us a driving tour of the city at night.
Saturday morning (or afternoon...) we headed over to Reading Terminal so Marc could see Philly's version of Quincy Market. He enjoyed it.
Here we are in historic Philly. I'm serving up the Constitution center on a platter. Marc is really feeling Barry, behind Independence Hall. (for the record, i make most visitors do this pose for the camera. gotta love barry).
In other news, i've been hard at work reading books and tackling the Great Book Challenge of 2009. I finished Barack Obama's "The Audacity of Hope", which was interesting if maybe a little outdated given the current financial crisis and political landscape. I went on to read "The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox", which was originally recommended to me by my old co-worker Vanessa. It was very haunting and interesting, but kind of stopped short of being great.
This past weekend I did something unexpected, I got a library card! I was staring at my list of books, and didn't feel compelled to pick any of them up, so instead of giving in and buying a book (boooo bad) i went to the nearest branch of the Philadelphia public library and signed on up! I got out two books, David Sedaris "holidays on ice"- which i promptly read, and further solidified my apathy towards David Sedaris. I know people love him and he's supposedly amazing, which is why i picked up the book (also it was right in front of me on a shelf as i began to browse)- but it didn't really do it for me. So I went back to my pile and picked up "the Tao of Pooh", which was given to me by Kim for christmas- and surprisingly i really liked it. I wasn't sure how i would do with a book relating eastern philosophy to Pooh (one of my favorite childhood characters), but i really liked it, and it actually did a good job explaining Taoism. So i learned something to boot!
Finally, i'm reading my other library book- Steve Martin's "Born Standing Up". I really wanted to buy this book, because I recently heard that Steve Martin released an album of banjo music (which is good and i plan on buying), and it made me want to learn more about him. And i have to tell you, i haven't loved Steve Martin's comedy (i tend to shy away from overly goofy/visual props) but i looooooove his book. Seriously. it's awesome. He's incredibly smart and funny and you can hear him telling you his story, which makes it feel very intimate and cool. So- everyone go read the book! Whether you love his comedy or not.
Next up i'm returning back to my pile o' books to master "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. It's a doosy, but i'm excited to tackle it and see if i learn a little something. I'll let you know how it goes.
And most importantly, i'm headed to New York this weekend to hang out w/ Arielle and Keith and Glenn (happy birthday boys!) and the Jons, arielle's fun friends from England! So- cold be gone! I have more important things to do!
First things first- Marc Banks came to visit! It was very exciting, because in the three and a half years that i've lived here he's never come to visit before. (ahem). But he ventured down from Boston for a long weekend- and we had the Best. Time. Ever. Seriously.
Here's proof:
So, here's Marc posing at banana republic- he indulged me and tried on a lot of things. sadly, we left empty handed, but it was fun!
The picture of the two of us was in the back of autumn and aaron's car, when they graciously gave us a driving tour of the city at night.
Saturday morning (or afternoon...) we headed over to Reading Terminal so Marc could see Philly's version of Quincy Market. He enjoyed it.
Here we are in historic Philly. I'm serving up the Constitution center on a platter. Marc is really feeling Barry, behind Independence Hall. (for the record, i make most visitors do this pose for the camera. gotta love barry).
In other news, i've been hard at work reading books and tackling the Great Book Challenge of 2009. I finished Barack Obama's "The Audacity of Hope", which was interesting if maybe a little outdated given the current financial crisis and political landscape. I went on to read "The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox", which was originally recommended to me by my old co-worker Vanessa. It was very haunting and interesting, but kind of stopped short of being great.
This past weekend I did something unexpected, I got a library card! I was staring at my list of books, and didn't feel compelled to pick any of them up, so instead of giving in and buying a book (boooo bad) i went to the nearest branch of the Philadelphia public library and signed on up! I got out two books, David Sedaris "holidays on ice"- which i promptly read, and further solidified my apathy towards David Sedaris. I know people love him and he's supposedly amazing, which is why i picked up the book (also it was right in front of me on a shelf as i began to browse)- but it didn't really do it for me. So I went back to my pile and picked up "the Tao of Pooh", which was given to me by Kim for christmas- and surprisingly i really liked it. I wasn't sure how i would do with a book relating eastern philosophy to Pooh (one of my favorite childhood characters), but i really liked it, and it actually did a good job explaining Taoism. So i learned something to boot!
Finally, i'm reading my other library book- Steve Martin's "Born Standing Up". I really wanted to buy this book, because I recently heard that Steve Martin released an album of banjo music (which is good and i plan on buying), and it made me want to learn more about him. And i have to tell you, i haven't loved Steve Martin's comedy (i tend to shy away from overly goofy/visual props) but i looooooove his book. Seriously. it's awesome. He's incredibly smart and funny and you can hear him telling you his story, which makes it feel very intimate and cool. So- everyone go read the book! Whether you love his comedy or not.
Next up i'm returning back to my pile o' books to master "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. It's a doosy, but i'm excited to tackle it and see if i learn a little something. I'll let you know how it goes.
And most importantly, i'm headed to New York this weekend to hang out w/ Arielle and Keith and Glenn (happy birthday boys!) and the Jons, arielle's fun friends from England! So- cold be gone! I have more important things to do!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
V-Day
As i'm sure you can guess, Valentine's day is not my favorite day of the year. I'm past the point of wearing black- I just kind of do my best to ignore it. I'm perpetually single, and to date my favorite Valentine's day has been with Kim when we were in high school (?)- we got dressed up, made chocolate covered strawberries and watched Sense & Sensibility. Don't ask me why we dressed up. It made us feel better. The memory still makes me feel happy. And actually, I had 2 chocolate covered strawberries tonight. It's a nice Valentine's tradition, for the non-valentines day celebration.
You know, in preparation for today, I read the Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler. It was both appropriate and on my list for the great book challenge, so I killed two birds with one stone. I read it 2 weeks ago, and it brought up some nice memories. Inevitably, the vagina monologues remind me of Hamilton, especially Laura, my feminist pro-vagina friend. (Not that i knew many people who were anti-vagina or anything.) We were in a performance of the vagina monologues our senior year at Hamilton. It happened to be a very trying time for me, and I found the experience to be therapeutic. I don't recall the name of my monologue (even though i recently re-read it), which i shared with two other girls. But i do remember my first line: "my vagina's angry. it is. it's pissed off". and at the time, it was. i was heartbroken and angry and feeling powerless and sad. and the vagina monologues helped me get some things off my chest, in front of a large group of people, by reciting some very serious, yet fun words, while wearing a pink boa. A yes, fond memories of V-Day that year. and Laura, my personal savior during that time. I probably never repaid her for that.
I can't believe February is half over. Time seems to keep flying by. My 5 year college reunion is in early June, the week after my sister gets married! This, of course, means I have to step up my gym routine to make sure I feel suitably thinnish for both occasions. But it's also just kind of weird to have such big events so close together. Lots to process. I don't even want to begin to think about it now.
Want to know what I did today? I got up, watched Friday Night Lights (sigh, the best show ever), went to the gym. Then I read a little, went grocery shopping, and made a trip to Pats for a cheesesteak. I had decided in advance that my Valentine's Day present to myself was a cheesesteak. I haven't had one in ages, and it was a guaranteed food orgasm. So I indulged, and it definitely lived up to the expectations. I also watched both my netflix movies, Vicky Christina Barcelona (one of my new favorite Woody Allen movies) and La Vie En Rose (depressing but impressive), went through my wardrobe and gathered a bag of clothes to donate, cleaned off my desk and dining room table of all the bills/mail/garbage, and cleaned my microwave (which was in desperate need of a good cleaning). Overall, i'd say I was quite productive, wouldn't you?
As for the Great Book Challenge: I read 'Loving Frank', by Nancy Horan. A truly wonderful book. I also read 'the Vagina Monologues', as i mentioned, by Eve Ensler. A quick read, and a good one. I'm now two chapters in to 'The Audacity of Hope' by our president- Barack Obama (written pre-presidency, of course). So far it's interesting, and makes me love him even more than i already did, which i didn't think was possible. I will continue to keep you posted- but so far i think i'm kicking this challenge's ass.
In any event, happy v-day to everyone. I hope you celebrated in any way you saw fit, and at least did something that made you smile.
You know, in preparation for today, I read the Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler. It was both appropriate and on my list for the great book challenge, so I killed two birds with one stone. I read it 2 weeks ago, and it brought up some nice memories. Inevitably, the vagina monologues remind me of Hamilton, especially Laura, my feminist pro-vagina friend. (Not that i knew many people who were anti-vagina or anything.) We were in a performance of the vagina monologues our senior year at Hamilton. It happened to be a very trying time for me, and I found the experience to be therapeutic. I don't recall the name of my monologue (even though i recently re-read it), which i shared with two other girls. But i do remember my first line: "my vagina's angry. it is. it's pissed off". and at the time, it was. i was heartbroken and angry and feeling powerless and sad. and the vagina monologues helped me get some things off my chest, in front of a large group of people, by reciting some very serious, yet fun words, while wearing a pink boa. A yes, fond memories of V-Day that year. and Laura, my personal savior during that time. I probably never repaid her for that.
I can't believe February is half over. Time seems to keep flying by. My 5 year college reunion is in early June, the week after my sister gets married! This, of course, means I have to step up my gym routine to make sure I feel suitably thinnish for both occasions. But it's also just kind of weird to have such big events so close together. Lots to process. I don't even want to begin to think about it now.
Want to know what I did today? I got up, watched Friday Night Lights (sigh, the best show ever), went to the gym. Then I read a little, went grocery shopping, and made a trip to Pats for a cheesesteak. I had decided in advance that my Valentine's Day present to myself was a cheesesteak. I haven't had one in ages, and it was a guaranteed food orgasm. So I indulged, and it definitely lived up to the expectations. I also watched both my netflix movies, Vicky Christina Barcelona (one of my new favorite Woody Allen movies) and La Vie En Rose (depressing but impressive), went through my wardrobe and gathered a bag of clothes to donate, cleaned off my desk and dining room table of all the bills/mail/garbage, and cleaned my microwave (which was in desperate need of a good cleaning). Overall, i'd say I was quite productive, wouldn't you?
As for the Great Book Challenge: I read 'Loving Frank', by Nancy Horan. A truly wonderful book. I also read 'the Vagina Monologues', as i mentioned, by Eve Ensler. A quick read, and a good one. I'm now two chapters in to 'The Audacity of Hope' by our president- Barack Obama (written pre-presidency, of course). So far it's interesting, and makes me love him even more than i already did, which i didn't think was possible. I will continue to keep you posted- but so far i think i'm kicking this challenge's ass.
In any event, happy v-day to everyone. I hope you celebrated in any way you saw fit, and at least did something that made you smile.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
PMShitty
PMS is a terrible thing. I know men joke about it as the reason all women are bitchy, but seriously- it sucks. and it's not something we can always control either. For instance, i thought that the pill would help my pms, and for the most part- it has. just not this month. no, for some reason, this month i've been filled with the feeling of dread that comes along with realizing you're pms-ing in a major way. i'm irritable, hungry all the time, tired, achey, lazy and feel like throwing a tantrum and flailing around on the floor. for no real reason. it's lovely. if i were in a relationship, i'm sure i would have picked a fight by now. but instead i'm just rude to my mom and not calling my sister back. i have little patience, least of all for myself. and it's not easy to irritate yourself all the time. there's no one to blame for that really. it's all your fault.
this week was very busy at work, which is a good thing- as it makes the days go by fast and i feel somewhat useful. we even had a snow day on wednesday! which was amazing and a nice rest, but by friday i was still itching for the day to end. so of course it crawled by like a drunk snail. and now it's sunday and the whole thing starts over again tomorrow. but hopefully i'll be in a better state of mind for it. pms can't last forever, right?
i'm excited for the superbowl, mainly because i associate it with eating not-so-healthy food. although, given the past week of eating i've had, i'm going to try and be good. i don't expect it to be a very exciting game, especially since the Eagles aren't in it- so i'm mainly watching for the commercials. hopefully there will be some good ones.
i got my first grad school interview letter this weekend! i have to call and set it up, but it looks like Immaculata University would like to interview me for their PsyD program. So that is exciting. what's not exciting is filling out my fafsa form, which i did today (the latest possible deadline) and wanted to pull my eyebrows out one by one, especially when my internet crashed just as i was about to finish the damn form. luckily it was easily restored and i didn't have to fill out the whole thing over again. i might have vomited out of pure anger. but that episode was avoided. thank god.
i'm now off to the gym to try and sweat my way into a better mood.
oh- and an update on the great book challenge of 2009- I've finished 'Outliers'- it was awesome. I really enjoy Gladwell's style of writing and I like how he always keeps things interesting by tying in all the randomest populations of people. It feel like good party trivia, things you can bring up in conversation and seem interesting. I bet Malcolm Gladwell is great at a party. He's actually speaking here in Philly Monday night, but I can't go :( maybe next time.
I'm almost done with 'The Boelyn Inheritance' by Philippa Gregory. It's really entertaining- but i love historical fiction. It tells the story of Henry VIII's 4th and 5th wives, told from their perspectives as well as the perspective of Jane Boelyn (George's wife/Anne's sister in law) who is a lady-in-waiting at court. And I don't know much about Henry's wives after Anney Boelyn, so I feel like i'm learning something- even if it's not all fact.
I haven't decided what book is next, but i'm thinking 'Loving Frank' by Nancy Horan. i'll let you know how it turns out...
this week was very busy at work, which is a good thing- as it makes the days go by fast and i feel somewhat useful. we even had a snow day on wednesday! which was amazing and a nice rest, but by friday i was still itching for the day to end. so of course it crawled by like a drunk snail. and now it's sunday and the whole thing starts over again tomorrow. but hopefully i'll be in a better state of mind for it. pms can't last forever, right?
i'm excited for the superbowl, mainly because i associate it with eating not-so-healthy food. although, given the past week of eating i've had, i'm going to try and be good. i don't expect it to be a very exciting game, especially since the Eagles aren't in it- so i'm mainly watching for the commercials. hopefully there will be some good ones.
i got my first grad school interview letter this weekend! i have to call and set it up, but it looks like Immaculata University would like to interview me for their PsyD program. So that is exciting. what's not exciting is filling out my fafsa form, which i did today (the latest possible deadline) and wanted to pull my eyebrows out one by one, especially when my internet crashed just as i was about to finish the damn form. luckily it was easily restored and i didn't have to fill out the whole thing over again. i might have vomited out of pure anger. but that episode was avoided. thank god.
i'm now off to the gym to try and sweat my way into a better mood.
oh- and an update on the great book challenge of 2009- I've finished 'Outliers'- it was awesome. I really enjoy Gladwell's style of writing and I like how he always keeps things interesting by tying in all the randomest populations of people. It feel like good party trivia, things you can bring up in conversation and seem interesting. I bet Malcolm Gladwell is great at a party. He's actually speaking here in Philly Monday night, but I can't go :( maybe next time.
I'm almost done with 'The Boelyn Inheritance' by Philippa Gregory. It's really entertaining- but i love historical fiction. It tells the story of Henry VIII's 4th and 5th wives, told from their perspectives as well as the perspective of Jane Boelyn (George's wife/Anne's sister in law) who is a lady-in-waiting at court. And I don't know much about Henry's wives after Anney Boelyn, so I feel like i'm learning something- even if it's not all fact.
I haven't decided what book is next, but i'm thinking 'Loving Frank' by Nancy Horan. i'll let you know how it turns out...
Friday, January 23, 2009
The Great Book Challenge of 2009
Ok people. It's time to get serious. I spent 2008 collecting books faster than I could read them. It's time for that to end. I have vowed that I will not buy any more books until i've read all of the ones I already have. So behold- the great book challenge of 2009.
Below is the list of books i will be reading, in no particular order:
Guns, Germs and Steel- Jared Diamond
The Stranger- Albert Camus
Education's End (Why Our Colleges and Universities Have Given Up on the Meaning of Life)- Anthony Kronman
The God Delusion- Richard Dawkins
The Lost Continent- Bill Bryson
The Tao of Pooh- Benjamin Hoff
On Writing- Stephen King
The Boleyn Inheritance- Philippa Gregory (lent to me by my waxer, the greatest waxer ever)
Unaccustomed Earth- Jhumpa Lahiri
The Tales of the Beedle Bard- J.K. Rowling
Outliers (The Story of Success)- Malcolm Gladwell
The Vagina Monologues- Eve Enlser
The Audacity of Hope- Barack Obama
The Vanishing Act of Esme Lenox- Maggie O'Farrell
How I Learned to Cook (& Other Writings on Complex Mother Daughter Relationships)- Margo Perin
Special Topics in Calamity Physics- Marisha Pessl
Rescuing Patty Hearst (Memories from a Decade Gone Mad)- Virginia Holman
Loving Frank- Nancy Horan
The Killer Angels- Michael Shaara
Altogether, there are 19 books on this list. I'm hoping to get them all read by the summer, cause frankly- I don't think i'll be able to avoid buying books much past that. I've also decided I am allowed to borrow books, if i'm desperate for one in particular.
I think the first book i'm going to start- tonight, probably- will be Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell. After the Twilight drama, i think i need some non-fiction. Plus, I love his other stuff.
Wish my luck, my friends. I'll keep you posted.
Below is the list of books i will be reading, in no particular order:
Guns, Germs and Steel- Jared Diamond
The Stranger- Albert Camus
Education's End (Why Our Colleges and Universities Have Given Up on the Meaning of Life)- Anthony Kronman
The God Delusion- Richard Dawkins
The Lost Continent- Bill Bryson
The Tao of Pooh- Benjamin Hoff
On Writing- Stephen King
The Boleyn Inheritance- Philippa Gregory (lent to me by my waxer, the greatest waxer ever)
Unaccustomed Earth- Jhumpa Lahiri
The Tales of the Beedle Bard- J.K. Rowling
Outliers (The Story of Success)- Malcolm Gladwell
The Vagina Monologues- Eve Enlser
The Audacity of Hope- Barack Obama
The Vanishing Act of Esme Lenox- Maggie O'Farrell
How I Learned to Cook (& Other Writings on Complex Mother Daughter Relationships)- Margo Perin
Special Topics in Calamity Physics- Marisha Pessl
Rescuing Patty Hearst (Memories from a Decade Gone Mad)- Virginia Holman
Loving Frank- Nancy Horan
The Killer Angels- Michael Shaara
Altogether, there are 19 books on this list. I'm hoping to get them all read by the summer, cause frankly- I don't think i'll be able to avoid buying books much past that. I've also decided I am allowed to borrow books, if i'm desperate for one in particular.
I think the first book i'm going to start- tonight, probably- will be Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell. After the Twilight drama, i think i need some non-fiction. Plus, I love his other stuff.
Wish my luck, my friends. I'll keep you posted.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Oh, Leo
When I was younger, I was in love with Leonardo DiCaprio. Full on, thirteen year old love- which probably started before I was thirteen and definitely lasted longer than that. I saw Romeo and Juliet multiple times in the theater, Titanic even more. Once or twice I even threw him a birthday party- which consisted of my dragging my friends over to my house to watch some of him movies and revel in his wonderfulness. (btw his birthday is November 11th, veteran's day).
He was not my first love, just the most influential during my formative years. I was always a fan of dramatic love, for many reasons. I'm a girl- and not to make drastic generalizations here, but i'm a romantic. I want to believe in a deeper kind of love. Which brings me to my point.
I am someone who feels things....strongly. I've had this trait described as: opinionated, argumentative, feisty, 'overdramatic'/drama queen, and bitch. I prefer the term....passionate. I feel most alive when i'm feeling things deeply, or discussing them or fighting about them, etc. I'm not always right, god knows, but then it's not really about that, is it? The point is that this is a trait I actually like about myself, maybe even one of my favorites. When I die i'd like at least one person to be able to remember me as someone who felt passionately about life (certain parts of it, at least). And I realized something recently. I was afraid I had lost my passion.
Time went on, I stopped having birthday parties for Leonardo, and now only faintly nod my hat to him on Nov. 11th. I became more aware of his hit-or-miss acting, moved onto other celebrity crushes, attempted to find my own dramatic lover- failing miserably, and life just kind of kept moving. See, i'm at a place right now that's actually pretty good. I am happy- I don't feel any inkling of the depression that crept up on me a year or two ago. I'm relaxed, I have a good job, good friends, a good life- and even some semblance of a life plan (when i'm not panicking about it). But I think I let the passion go by the wayside. I noticed, or rather failed to notice, any real sense of inspiration. No 'pep in my step', you could say. Again, not depression, just a complacency with life and where i'm at. Normal people would be ok with this. It's safe to say i'm not always normal.
After Christmas I started reading the Twilight series. I know, I have mentioned this before. I quickly became obsessed, aquired all four books and read them til all hours of the night- going on fewer hours of sleep and spending all my free time in this make-believe world. And truthfully, it scared the crap out of me. I felt like I was thirteen again, and I feared I was regressing- but why? I was afraid to finish the series because I didn't want to miss the characters, but I also didn't want to let myself keep reading, because I realize that an obsession this intense is ridiculous. But is it? I went back to my therapist to get a grip on reality, and hear a dose of "you're being whiny and ridiculous and too hard on yourself". I talked about how I realized I was afraid I had lost this passion in my life, because these books brought it back so strongly. I kind of forgot what it was like to feel like that about something. And once I realized that's what it was, just my previously unchanneled passion finally regaining some ground in my subconcious (ok, and consciousness), I felt better about the whole thing. Frankly, it was a relief to realize I never lost that ability to feel so deeply. I think that in adjusting to my new job, where I hear so many feelings during the course of a day, I've been learning to compartmentalize as a defense mechanism (no one likes to bring their work home). I just forgot which compartment I left my own stuff in, and they collected dust for a little while. It appears I've found the key and re-opened that drawer, cause i'm now feeling everything a little bit more strongly. Nothing too outrageous, just a little jolt. And it feels much better. I was able to realize that i'm kind of bored at work- and I need to find things to make my life feel more like my life. I want to take this writing class through Temple (kind of like the architecture class I took last summer), and I'd like to start going out on dates again, although with whom is still a mystery (since Bob the pharmacist is MIA).
Also, I finished the Twilight series tonight. And it was good. I don't feel sad, because the series ended well. I didn't cry, like when Harry Potter ended, cause let's face it the Twilight books are no Harry Potter. And besides, I have piles of other books to get started on, and hopefully they'll continue to keep me interested and make me feel things, both good and bad. Cause that's what books and movies-all things entertainment- are supposed to do. And until I have more of my own passionate love stories and intellectual challenges, they'll have to do.
But it all comes back to Leonardo DiCaprio. Last weekend, he was at the Golden Globes with Kate Winslet. He lost, but she won- twice. She thanked him in her second speech, and I got all choked up (as did they), because damn, he is still quite good looking- and they seem to be genuine friends. And isn't it always nice when that happens? I saw Revolutionary Road today- the movie they are currently in together. It was depressing, but well done. He overacted at parts, but he still cries the same, and he is still fairly good at emoting. Kate Winslet was amazing, as per usual, but it was him I went to see. To say hello to my old crush, and wish him a belated happy birthday. Thanks for the memories, Leo.
He was not my first love, just the most influential during my formative years. I was always a fan of dramatic love, for many reasons. I'm a girl- and not to make drastic generalizations here, but i'm a romantic. I want to believe in a deeper kind of love. Which brings me to my point.
I am someone who feels things....strongly. I've had this trait described as: opinionated, argumentative, feisty, 'overdramatic'/drama queen, and bitch. I prefer the term....passionate. I feel most alive when i'm feeling things deeply, or discussing them or fighting about them, etc. I'm not always right, god knows, but then it's not really about that, is it? The point is that this is a trait I actually like about myself, maybe even one of my favorites. When I die i'd like at least one person to be able to remember me as someone who felt passionately about life (certain parts of it, at least). And I realized something recently. I was afraid I had lost my passion.
Time went on, I stopped having birthday parties for Leonardo, and now only faintly nod my hat to him on Nov. 11th. I became more aware of his hit-or-miss acting, moved onto other celebrity crushes, attempted to find my own dramatic lover- failing miserably, and life just kind of kept moving. See, i'm at a place right now that's actually pretty good. I am happy- I don't feel any inkling of the depression that crept up on me a year or two ago. I'm relaxed, I have a good job, good friends, a good life- and even some semblance of a life plan (when i'm not panicking about it). But I think I let the passion go by the wayside. I noticed, or rather failed to notice, any real sense of inspiration. No 'pep in my step', you could say. Again, not depression, just a complacency with life and where i'm at. Normal people would be ok with this. It's safe to say i'm not always normal.
After Christmas I started reading the Twilight series. I know, I have mentioned this before. I quickly became obsessed, aquired all four books and read them til all hours of the night- going on fewer hours of sleep and spending all my free time in this make-believe world. And truthfully, it scared the crap out of me. I felt like I was thirteen again, and I feared I was regressing- but why? I was afraid to finish the series because I didn't want to miss the characters, but I also didn't want to let myself keep reading, because I realize that an obsession this intense is ridiculous. But is it? I went back to my therapist to get a grip on reality, and hear a dose of "you're being whiny and ridiculous and too hard on yourself". I talked about how I realized I was afraid I had lost this passion in my life, because these books brought it back so strongly. I kind of forgot what it was like to feel like that about something. And once I realized that's what it was, just my previously unchanneled passion finally regaining some ground in my subconcious (ok, and consciousness), I felt better about the whole thing. Frankly, it was a relief to realize I never lost that ability to feel so deeply. I think that in adjusting to my new job, where I hear so many feelings during the course of a day, I've been learning to compartmentalize as a defense mechanism (no one likes to bring their work home). I just forgot which compartment I left my own stuff in, and they collected dust for a little while. It appears I've found the key and re-opened that drawer, cause i'm now feeling everything a little bit more strongly. Nothing too outrageous, just a little jolt. And it feels much better. I was able to realize that i'm kind of bored at work- and I need to find things to make my life feel more like my life. I want to take this writing class through Temple (kind of like the architecture class I took last summer), and I'd like to start going out on dates again, although with whom is still a mystery (since Bob the pharmacist is MIA).
Also, I finished the Twilight series tonight. And it was good. I don't feel sad, because the series ended well. I didn't cry, like when Harry Potter ended, cause let's face it the Twilight books are no Harry Potter. And besides, I have piles of other books to get started on, and hopefully they'll continue to keep me interested and make me feel things, both good and bad. Cause that's what books and movies-all things entertainment- are supposed to do. And until I have more of my own passionate love stories and intellectual challenges, they'll have to do.
But it all comes back to Leonardo DiCaprio. Last weekend, he was at the Golden Globes with Kate Winslet. He lost, but she won- twice. She thanked him in her second speech, and I got all choked up (as did they), because damn, he is still quite good looking- and they seem to be genuine friends. And isn't it always nice when that happens? I saw Revolutionary Road today- the movie they are currently in together. It was depressing, but well done. He overacted at parts, but he still cries the same, and he is still fairly good at emoting. Kate Winslet was amazing, as per usual, but it was him I went to see. To say hello to my old crush, and wish him a belated happy birthday. Thanks for the memories, Leo.
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