It's Friday night at 11pm. I'm in my recliner, exhausted, watching 'What Not To Wear' on TLC.
And i'm crabby. I'm tired, and I think i'm in shock. Today was my last day at work. I have spend a year slaving at a job where I was never particularly appreciated, and often felt like smacking my head against a wall. I've finally procured a new job, and am at the beginning of an oasis taking the form of two weeks of vacation. Yet I don't feel excited. I feel tired, like, 6 months worth of tired. Tired I didn't realize was there.
So I came home and did nothing. I watched tv and laid on the couch. I did not go to the gym, despite eating approximately one billion calories in celebratory food this afternoon. I attempted to organize my coffee table instead of vacuuming and dusting, and was snippy at my mom on the phone for no apparent reason.
(Thankfully, she is used to this. She should be, because I get it from her-where I get most of my, lets call them- idiosyncrasies. )
I did not expect this on my last day, since i've been looking forward to it for so long. But in the end, I was really sad saying goodbye to my friends there. The job might have sucked, but having good people to suffer along with you makes the road easier to travel. Even saying goodbye to my clients was kind of hard. I know they will have to adjust to the changes, which is hard on anyone, more-so for people already in a fragile state.
I also have no idea what to do with all my free time. I mean, I have goals. I have things I want to Do. But like, now that it's here- I feel somewhat overwhelmed.
Let's make a list of things i'm going to do:
1. Call Penn to order the recommendations needed for the new job.
2. Call my doctor to drop off the physical form (basically beg them to get me in)
3. Go to Independence Hall, and get there early enough to get a ticket inside. Bypass the Liberty Bell, of course (what a whore of a monument).
4. Try at least 2 new recipes.
5. Clean my apartment.
6. Go on a date.
7. Walk across the Ben Franklin Bridge, and back, obviously.
8. Read two books.
9. Go to the gym four times a week
10. Take a trip to DSW to check out some new shoes.
Ok. Well that clears things up. This should be doable in two weeks. I will be a new woman when I start my new job!
Now for the bed.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Update
Just an update- I made the call to Mr. eharmony date. We spoke for like 2 minutes, are not getting together tomorrow, but are getting together for drinks on Saturday at 5. I have to pick a place.
God I hate talking to strangers on the phone. His voice was ok though. At least he seems normal.
God I hate talking to strangers on the phone. His voice was ok though. At least he seems normal.
Monday, June 2, 2008
No Sex in My City
So.....
I just saw the Sex in the City movie. Obviously. I went with a group of seven other girls. Of course. And I loved it, naturally. It's a really long movie. It doesn't need to be this long, and frankly they could do without the whole 'Samantha is miserable so she gains weight and the girls freak out' bit. Come on, it was kind of insulting.
I did love the Miranda/Steve plot. I cried when they reunited on the Brooklyn Bridge. Oh my god who doesn't want to reunite on the Brooklyn Bridge!! And their relationship is so much more natural and believable than Carrie and Big. Who meets and marries a big-shot financial wizard who can afford a penthouse on 5th. No. The real story is the couple who don't fit together perfectly, who have class/money/job/sex issues, who move to a suburb (even if it is Brooklyn) and have rough patches. That I would take any day.
Which brings me to the fact that I have no relationship to work on, except the one with myself (which Carrie does say in the last episode of the series is the Most important relationship...). But how much longer can I keep watching movies and tv shows about love while standing on the sidelines pretending i'm part of that world? I'm not. It's waaaaaaay on the other side of the street. And the thought of taking my feet off the curb makes me want to vomit a little bit in my mouth.
Truthfully, I may have a date on Wednesday. So obviously I don't want to go. Dating is scary. Dating is actually have to look someone in the face and say "ok, here I am. let's talk and see if this can go anywhere". To other people that is exciting or fun or whatever. To me, it's diarrhea. The thought of dating makes me feel like crapping my pants, much like Charlotte in Mexico....
Ah, perhaps that's why there is no sex in my city, and I have to settle for the movie version.
I just saw the Sex in the City movie. Obviously. I went with a group of seven other girls. Of course. And I loved it, naturally. It's a really long movie. It doesn't need to be this long, and frankly they could do without the whole 'Samantha is miserable so she gains weight and the girls freak out' bit. Come on, it was kind of insulting.
I did love the Miranda/Steve plot. I cried when they reunited on the Brooklyn Bridge. Oh my god who doesn't want to reunite on the Brooklyn Bridge!! And their relationship is so much more natural and believable than Carrie and Big. Who meets and marries a big-shot financial wizard who can afford a penthouse on 5th. No. The real story is the couple who don't fit together perfectly, who have class/money/job/sex issues, who move to a suburb (even if it is Brooklyn) and have rough patches. That I would take any day.
Which brings me to the fact that I have no relationship to work on, except the one with myself (which Carrie does say in the last episode of the series is the Most important relationship...). But how much longer can I keep watching movies and tv shows about love while standing on the sidelines pretending i'm part of that world? I'm not. It's waaaaaaay on the other side of the street. And the thought of taking my feet off the curb makes me want to vomit a little bit in my mouth.
Truthfully, I may have a date on Wednesday. So obviously I don't want to go. Dating is scary. Dating is actually have to look someone in the face and say "ok, here I am. let's talk and see if this can go anywhere". To other people that is exciting or fun or whatever. To me, it's diarrhea. The thought of dating makes me feel like crapping my pants, much like Charlotte in Mexico....
Ah, perhaps that's why there is no sex in my city, and I have to settle for the movie version.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Let Me Introduce Myself...
First of all, I never thought i'd have a blog. Ever.
Luckily, I just finished reading this great book, Julie & Julia, in which the main character has a blog where she documents a year long cooking project. In doing so, she finds herself and her future, yada yada happy ending.
I don't think this is one of those blogs.
I am 25 years old. I recognize this is not old, per se, but it took some getting used to. I don't feel 25. I tend to make the same mistakes, have the same insecurities, go to see very similar bad movies. And yet life seems to progress around me. I'm just trying to keep up.
So let me give you some basic facts about myself:
1. I am a therapist, and was one well before I got my degree. People tend to talk me- on the street, on the train, in coffee shops. I enjoy it, I like hearing about people.
2. I have a cat, an orange persian named Gizmo. I inherited him from my father, who is now a full-fledged dog-person. I never used to like cats, but its hard not to like gizmo, as he's the cuddliest and best cat that ever existed.
3. I tend to be a loner. I prefer 'independent', but that's just a fancy word for loner. I have great friends and family, and I love spending time with them. But I tend to do a lot of things by myself, and i'm cool with it.
4. I don't have many fears. Large bugs, like say, the cockroach as large as my palm that I encountered last year, or snakes and stuff, fine. But I love heights, trying new foods, talking to strangers, and climbing on things without having a way down (hence, my profile picture). The two things i'm really afraid of are debt, and dating. But more on that later.
5. I'm blunt. I'm known for having a mouth, not in the secret-spilling kind of way, but in the 'that dress makes you look fat' variety. I've been working on tact for a while now. Jury is still out on how that's going.
There are a few things i'd like to accomplish in the next year or so, and i'm hoping this blog might help me sort through them. I'm deciding whether or not I want a doctorate degree, and whether I should move back to New York or stay rooted here in Philly. I'm trying to lose weight, 20 lbs by next May, when my beloved sister is getting married. And i'd like to date. Heck, i'd like to be in a relationship. (Well, at least be able to say that I tried)
So here I am. A work in progress. The way I see it, my life is kind of like climbing up a proverbial tree. I've grabbed onto another branch- and i'm still swinging. Welcome to my tree.
Luckily, I just finished reading this great book, Julie & Julia, in which the main character has a blog where she documents a year long cooking project. In doing so, she finds herself and her future, yada yada happy ending.
I don't think this is one of those blogs.
I am 25 years old. I recognize this is not old, per se, but it took some getting used to. I don't feel 25. I tend to make the same mistakes, have the same insecurities, go to see very similar bad movies. And yet life seems to progress around me. I'm just trying to keep up.
So let me give you some basic facts about myself:
1. I am a therapist, and was one well before I got my degree. People tend to talk me- on the street, on the train, in coffee shops. I enjoy it, I like hearing about people.
2. I have a cat, an orange persian named Gizmo. I inherited him from my father, who is now a full-fledged dog-person. I never used to like cats, but its hard not to like gizmo, as he's the cuddliest and best cat that ever existed.
3. I tend to be a loner. I prefer 'independent', but that's just a fancy word for loner. I have great friends and family, and I love spending time with them. But I tend to do a lot of things by myself, and i'm cool with it.
4. I don't have many fears. Large bugs, like say, the cockroach as large as my palm that I encountered last year, or snakes and stuff, fine. But I love heights, trying new foods, talking to strangers, and climbing on things without having a way down (hence, my profile picture). The two things i'm really afraid of are debt, and dating. But more on that later.
5. I'm blunt. I'm known for having a mouth, not in the secret-spilling kind of way, but in the 'that dress makes you look fat' variety. I've been working on tact for a while now. Jury is still out on how that's going.
There are a few things i'd like to accomplish in the next year or so, and i'm hoping this blog might help me sort through them. I'm deciding whether or not I want a doctorate degree, and whether I should move back to New York or stay rooted here in Philly. I'm trying to lose weight, 20 lbs by next May, when my beloved sister is getting married. And i'd like to date. Heck, i'd like to be in a relationship. (Well, at least be able to say that I tried)
So here I am. A work in progress. The way I see it, my life is kind of like climbing up a proverbial tree. I've grabbed onto another branch- and i'm still swinging. Welcome to my tree.
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