I don't know if any of you noticed- but it's hot as balls outside today.
(also, as a side note, why does that phrase exist?)
Anyhoozle, i was thinking about what i want to do this summer. Jimmie (my psychic partner) told me to focus on me for the next 21 months. so what i have promptly done is...not that. time to make a change!
positivity! focusing inward! creating goals! staying away from angst and negative energy!! sure? i'll give it a try.
I am going on a summer vacation (italy, it will be so nice to see you again)- but the summer is oh so long and my vacation is teeny tiny short. so i have to start making plans for the rest of summer.
the following is the beginnings of my list of things to do in the summer of 2011 (which is not the summer of george, but might be the summer of diana- fingers crossed):
finally go to gettysburg (*there will be a whole other post about my new favorite book "the killer angels" and its amazingness/gettysburg)
tour the battleship new jersey
go back to the art museum
tour Eastern State Penitentiary
be able to run 5 miles
ride on a vespa
start hanging out with my new work friends...outside of work, thereby feeling like i am Actually friends with them
knit more hats- hats for everyone!
finish the scarf i started (side note- why do scarfs seem to take so much longer to knit than hats?)
picnic at valley forge
random weekend trip/road trip
kiss a sailor
become a more positive person
worry less
learn to bake something new
eat more seafood
go to Rohobeth!
spend 5 minutes each day thinking about all the good positive people in my life, instead of focusing too much energy on the bad ones (*also- get rid of negative people in my life)
tell people i care about that i care about them
pick up a cute guy on the train
finish cleaning out my apartment/streamlining my life and possessions
floss daily
laugh more
i think this is a good start. to be fair, i do have plans to do a number of these things- but hopefully come fall i will be able to say i've done them all!
stay tuned....
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
who told you that- your psychic partner?
guess who saw a psychic this weekend?
in order to see a psychic and pay for it and not feel like a chump, you have to suspend some disbelief and be open to the general idea of psychics and aura's and energy and people being able to tell you what might happen to you. clearly, i'm all over this idea.
so my waxer (and bff), jenne, has been recommending this particular psychic to me for a while now. she had a party where he was the main event and did readings for people- and he was a big hit. apparently he's well known in the "people who believe in psychic" circles of south philly. mhm. put that in your pipe and smoke it. his name is jimmie bay, and every second saturday he does reading at Black and Brew in south philly- which is the cheapest way to see him. so i called ahead and set up a time, and arrived at the coffee shop to see what my future has in store for me.
and jimmie was interesting. he's a short, sweet gay guy. he tells it like it is. when you sit down you write your name and birthday on a piece of paper for him- and he reads your energy in your handwriting. there's also something about your birthday and numbers and he can tell something from that- so he starts there.
apparently i'm a 2. this means i'm an extremist and i'm loyal and i'm determined, i like things to make sense and i like proof of how things work (this sounds strangely the same as if i were to look up what it means to be a capricorn, but i keep listening). apparently i have a 'scientific mind' (ummm no?). also- i have an excellent memory (well, yes, that is true). and- here's where i really started paying attention: i'm supposed to be partnered this year. apparently. so says jimmie. he said if i'm dating someone i should pay attention and get things 'in order' (in order to what?- i believe he responded "in order, like- make sure you want the same things and are on the same page"). and if i'm Not currently dating someone, i Should be. because this is an important year for me. a Year for me to Date and be "Partnered" (i could write a whole other blog on that word alone).
well, thanks jimmie. i believe i asked him "ok well where should i find him then? if it's so important?" (crickets on that one) he said any men currently in my life are noncommittal and unimportant (yes). i've had one big relationship (can we call it that really? i was so young and stupid)- which involved a lot of hurt and head games. but i'm not supposed to be alone forever! jimmie thinks i should be getting married by the time i'm 32. well, he said that i will be "settled in my relationship" by then. i interpreted that as marriage, but maybe i'll end up as one of those goldie hawn/kurt russell relationships where we are together but don't get married for years. i could maybe do that. as long as kids are involved. i definitely want kids (jimmie says kids love me- they 'fall under my umbrella'- no idea what that means, but he sees 3 or 4 in my future). also- my future life partner might be 3-4 years older than me, and have lighter hair and lighter eyes (which is interesting because i like brunettes). also- he's Short. like, 5'6" or 5'7" short. WHY UNIVERSE WHY- i am sick of shorter guys! why bother making me tall if i'm supposed to send up with a short guy? jimmie told me to get over the external because this man will treat me like i deserve to be treated- namely, like a goddess. fine jimmie, way to put me in my place.
he also picked up in the fact that i settle easily in relationships. he looked me straight in the face and said "you deserve to be loved. you need to know that. know your worth. why are you settling all the time?" well gee jimmie, get out of my head. stop reading the sign on my forehead that says "internalized low self esteem in intimate relationships" (its a long sign). i have more leg work to do before i'm ready for my forever-man, apparently. because i have to learn to put my foot down and stand up for myself and let myself be adored. oh, he also said i need to be more mysterious. to which i said "yes jimmie, but HOW", and he said "don't give yourself away so soon. keep some things to yourself". this is an interesting point- i do notice that if i like someone, i'm pretty open with them. maybe i do let people in too quickly...which can lead to disappointment and hurt. but isn't purposely staying mysterious like playing a game? i'm not good at mind games. i don't like them. plus- if i know who i am and am comfortable with it, why am i keeping it mysterious? see? this is why i have problems dating apparently. i'm not mysterious and i settle on the wrong men who aren't worth my time. even jimmie could tell. (i swear i think he was giving me a look that was like "giiiirl, no"- but maybe that was just my imagination)
i decided to test jimmie by asking about some family members- and on a few he was spot on. for instance, he knew that arielle and ben needed to "upgrade their space" before they have a baby. i didn't even tell him they lived in new york! and live in shoe box! so major points for that. also, he told me that my dad is logical and improving with age, but he disappoints because he doesn't intervene as often a he should. haha check and check jimmie. that is kind of a random thing to just pull out of the air. how did he know that? (i don't want to get into a whole diatribe on my dad- i love him dearly) i didn't want to spend too much time on family though, because- hello- i'm the one paying, focus on ME. but i did think what he had to say about family was interesting. thanks for the input, jimmie.
he wrapped it up by telling me that i should add some freelance or consulting work to my life. now, i think this is a general thing you could say to anyone and it would likely fit, unless you're like, a barista or something. but i have been thinking about whether or not to take on some private clients. and jimmie gave me the go ahead to test the waters. we'll see where i go with this.
so- to recap. my psychic partner (jimmie) told me that i'm not going to be alone forever, that i should be dating ("you haven't gone through enough men yet- be a floozy if you need to") this year, that i am not going to be an old maid cat lady, that kids adore me, that i'm lacking mystery but i have a good memory and that i should be doing more freelance work. i think he ended by looking at me and saying "trust yourself, you're gonna be ok".
thanks for the support, jimmie. you totally earned your fee*.
*which was $40. stop judging me now. he's a psychic, he has to make a living somehow.
in order to see a psychic and pay for it and not feel like a chump, you have to suspend some disbelief and be open to the general idea of psychics and aura's and energy and people being able to tell you what might happen to you. clearly, i'm all over this idea.
so my waxer (and bff), jenne, has been recommending this particular psychic to me for a while now. she had a party where he was the main event and did readings for people- and he was a big hit. apparently he's well known in the "people who believe in psychic" circles of south philly. mhm. put that in your pipe and smoke it. his name is jimmie bay, and every second saturday he does reading at Black and Brew in south philly- which is the cheapest way to see him. so i called ahead and set up a time, and arrived at the coffee shop to see what my future has in store for me.
and jimmie was interesting. he's a short, sweet gay guy. he tells it like it is. when you sit down you write your name and birthday on a piece of paper for him- and he reads your energy in your handwriting. there's also something about your birthday and numbers and he can tell something from that- so he starts there.
apparently i'm a 2. this means i'm an extremist and i'm loyal and i'm determined, i like things to make sense and i like proof of how things work (this sounds strangely the same as if i were to look up what it means to be a capricorn, but i keep listening). apparently i have a 'scientific mind' (ummm no?). also- i have an excellent memory (well, yes, that is true). and- here's where i really started paying attention: i'm supposed to be partnered this year. apparently. so says jimmie. he said if i'm dating someone i should pay attention and get things 'in order' (in order to what?- i believe he responded "in order, like- make sure you want the same things and are on the same page"). and if i'm Not currently dating someone, i Should be. because this is an important year for me. a Year for me to Date and be "Partnered" (i could write a whole other blog on that word alone).
well, thanks jimmie. i believe i asked him "ok well where should i find him then? if it's so important?" (crickets on that one) he said any men currently in my life are noncommittal and unimportant (yes). i've had one big relationship (can we call it that really? i was so young and stupid)- which involved a lot of hurt and head games. but i'm not supposed to be alone forever! jimmie thinks i should be getting married by the time i'm 32. well, he said that i will be "settled in my relationship" by then. i interpreted that as marriage, but maybe i'll end up as one of those goldie hawn/kurt russell relationships where we are together but don't get married for years. i could maybe do that. as long as kids are involved. i definitely want kids (jimmie says kids love me- they 'fall under my umbrella'- no idea what that means, but he sees 3 or 4 in my future). also- my future life partner might be 3-4 years older than me, and have lighter hair and lighter eyes (which is interesting because i like brunettes). also- he's Short. like, 5'6" or 5'7" short. WHY UNIVERSE WHY- i am sick of shorter guys! why bother making me tall if i'm supposed to send up with a short guy? jimmie told me to get over the external because this man will treat me like i deserve to be treated- namely, like a goddess. fine jimmie, way to put me in my place.
he also picked up in the fact that i settle easily in relationships. he looked me straight in the face and said "you deserve to be loved. you need to know that. know your worth. why are you settling all the time?" well gee jimmie, get out of my head. stop reading the sign on my forehead that says "internalized low self esteem in intimate relationships" (its a long sign). i have more leg work to do before i'm ready for my forever-man, apparently. because i have to learn to put my foot down and stand up for myself and let myself be adored. oh, he also said i need to be more mysterious. to which i said "yes jimmie, but HOW", and he said "don't give yourself away so soon. keep some things to yourself". this is an interesting point- i do notice that if i like someone, i'm pretty open with them. maybe i do let people in too quickly...which can lead to disappointment and hurt. but isn't purposely staying mysterious like playing a game? i'm not good at mind games. i don't like them. plus- if i know who i am and am comfortable with it, why am i keeping it mysterious? see? this is why i have problems dating apparently. i'm not mysterious and i settle on the wrong men who aren't worth my time. even jimmie could tell. (i swear i think he was giving me a look that was like "giiiirl, no"- but maybe that was just my imagination)
i decided to test jimmie by asking about some family members- and on a few he was spot on. for instance, he knew that arielle and ben needed to "upgrade their space" before they have a baby. i didn't even tell him they lived in new york! and live in shoe box! so major points for that. also, he told me that my dad is logical and improving with age, but he disappoints because he doesn't intervene as often a he should. haha check and check jimmie. that is kind of a random thing to just pull out of the air. how did he know that? (i don't want to get into a whole diatribe on my dad- i love him dearly) i didn't want to spend too much time on family though, because- hello- i'm the one paying, focus on ME. but i did think what he had to say about family was interesting. thanks for the input, jimmie.
he wrapped it up by telling me that i should add some freelance or consulting work to my life. now, i think this is a general thing you could say to anyone and it would likely fit, unless you're like, a barista or something. but i have been thinking about whether or not to take on some private clients. and jimmie gave me the go ahead to test the waters. we'll see where i go with this.
so- to recap. my psychic partner (jimmie) told me that i'm not going to be alone forever, that i should be dating ("you haven't gone through enough men yet- be a floozy if you need to") this year, that i am not going to be an old maid cat lady, that kids adore me, that i'm lacking mystery but i have a good memory and that i should be doing more freelance work. i think he ended by looking at me and saying "trust yourself, you're gonna be ok".
thanks for the support, jimmie. you totally earned your fee*.
*which was $40. stop judging me now. he's a psychic, he has to make a living somehow.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
a club for readers. (aka- book club)
so a few years ago when i was going through a phase (which happens every so often), my mom suggested i "join some clubs and meet some new people". to which my response was "umm this isn't high school- what do you mean 'join some clubs'?". but nevertheless i went online and found meetup.com, where i found a plethora of clubs i could join.
i spent a few hours perusing my options, and settled on the philadelphia metro book club. i've always wanted to belong to a book club- because in my mind book clubs are filled with women who get together and drink wine and say deep things about life while also reading good books and looking fabulous.
so- while i've always wanted to be a part of a nice book club, i joined the one online, told my mom, and then promptly never went to a meeting.
cut to...well, now. a few months ago my friend kristin brought up meetup.com in a conversation about trying to find new people in the city, and i remembered that i had joined this book club a while back, and should maybe look into going to a meeting. i used to get emails saying what book the club was reading and where the meetings were, but i never went to a single one, and eventually just started ignoring the emails. and then last fall the guy who ran the book club retired because his wife (who he MET at book club) had had a baby and they were really too busy to be organizing a philly book club. however- shortly after kristin brought it up, a new guy took over book club and revived it- leading to some new emails inviting me to meetings (luckily right near my neighborhood) to discuss books. and one of the books actually sounded interesting! so i bought it (used, on amazon), and actually read it in preparation for my very first metro philadelphia book club meeting!!
so- last night, at 6:30pm, i showed up at the Dark Horse Pub for my first book club meeting. i knew no one, but i had read the book and was ready to talk about it. according to the emails, 11 readers were scheduled to go. i was ten minutes late (due to an after work nap that ran long...and the fact that i'm usually five minutes late to things), but there was a small group standing outside the bar and one guy was holding the book! so i found my people! i introduced myself around, found out i was not the only new person to the club, and settled right in. there were 7 or 8 of us in all, we put some tables together, ordered some beer and food, and started sharing opinions. and it was actually really cool!! i don't know why but i'm always surprised when things work out and are pleasant- as opposed to being odd and sketchy. there were, of course- two kooky ladies- one middle aged jewish lady with crazy frizzy hair who kept saying odd things, and a short quieter lady who is a teacher and kept complaining she couldn't hear anything... but everyone else was pretty interesting and normal. there were a lot of mixed reviews of the book- (which i forgot to mention, was "A Gate at the Stairs" by Loorie Moore"), and the conversation was both interesting and lively. and at one point i looked around and in my head thought "hm, this is pretty cool. i'm glad i did this". it wasn't exactly what i had always imagined in my head- namely, we were drinking beer (not wine), there were men there (which is a plus, actually), and i didn't feel as fabulous as i do when imagining book club in my mind. but i suppose the fact that i finally went to a meeting and enjoyed it means it was worth it. i don't yet know if i'm going to make any long lasting friends from this group, but i'll probably go to another book club meeting in the future. in fact- there's a meeting memorial day weekend i think to discuss Killer Angels- a book about the battle of gettysburg i've been meaning to read for a while. this will give me a good excuse to finally do it!
moral of my random story- put yourself out there. read books. have opinions. share. :)
i spent a few hours perusing my options, and settled on the philadelphia metro book club. i've always wanted to belong to a book club- because in my mind book clubs are filled with women who get together and drink wine and say deep things about life while also reading good books and looking fabulous.
so- while i've always wanted to be a part of a nice book club, i joined the one online, told my mom, and then promptly never went to a meeting.
cut to...well, now. a few months ago my friend kristin brought up meetup.com in a conversation about trying to find new people in the city, and i remembered that i had joined this book club a while back, and should maybe look into going to a meeting. i used to get emails saying what book the club was reading and where the meetings were, but i never went to a single one, and eventually just started ignoring the emails. and then last fall the guy who ran the book club retired because his wife (who he MET at book club) had had a baby and they were really too busy to be organizing a philly book club. however- shortly after kristin brought it up, a new guy took over book club and revived it- leading to some new emails inviting me to meetings (luckily right near my neighborhood) to discuss books. and one of the books actually sounded interesting! so i bought it (used, on amazon), and actually read it in preparation for my very first metro philadelphia book club meeting!!
so- last night, at 6:30pm, i showed up at the Dark Horse Pub for my first book club meeting. i knew no one, but i had read the book and was ready to talk about it. according to the emails, 11 readers were scheduled to go. i was ten minutes late (due to an after work nap that ran long...and the fact that i'm usually five minutes late to things), but there was a small group standing outside the bar and one guy was holding the book! so i found my people! i introduced myself around, found out i was not the only new person to the club, and settled right in. there were 7 or 8 of us in all, we put some tables together, ordered some beer and food, and started sharing opinions. and it was actually really cool!! i don't know why but i'm always surprised when things work out and are pleasant- as opposed to being odd and sketchy. there were, of course- two kooky ladies- one middle aged jewish lady with crazy frizzy hair who kept saying odd things, and a short quieter lady who is a teacher and kept complaining she couldn't hear anything... but everyone else was pretty interesting and normal. there were a lot of mixed reviews of the book- (which i forgot to mention, was "A Gate at the Stairs" by Loorie Moore"), and the conversation was both interesting and lively. and at one point i looked around and in my head thought "hm, this is pretty cool. i'm glad i did this". it wasn't exactly what i had always imagined in my head- namely, we were drinking beer (not wine), there were men there (which is a plus, actually), and i didn't feel as fabulous as i do when imagining book club in my mind. but i suppose the fact that i finally went to a meeting and enjoyed it means it was worth it. i don't yet know if i'm going to make any long lasting friends from this group, but i'll probably go to another book club meeting in the future. in fact- there's a meeting memorial day weekend i think to discuss Killer Angels- a book about the battle of gettysburg i've been meaning to read for a while. this will give me a good excuse to finally do it!
moral of my random story- put yourself out there. read books. have opinions. share. :)
Sunday, May 8, 2011
everyone should have an annie potts in their life
have you ever seen the movie pretty in pink? of course you have, who am i talking to. well, if i'm being honest it's not my favorite molly ringwald movie (that's probably 16 candles- the breakfast club doesn't count b/c it's more of an ensemble piece. i digress) however i keep thinking about it lately. do you remember annie potts in that movie? she's molly's kooky boss at the record store? she wears weird clothing and lives in a crazy looking apartment and goes on dates for sushi with her hair all done up like she's on the cover of vogue or something.
well i have my very own annie potts in my life. and her name is kelly.
you may have heard me talk about kelly before. she owns the jewelry/accessories shop around the corner from me (the crystal cage: check it out), and over the years we have become friends. i bring everyone i know to that store- and the ones with a little more disposable income (aka- my mom, aunt and sometimes sister) have bought numerous things from her over the years. i think at christmas i said "we're having a very kelly christmas this year!" because Everyone was getting a present from her store.
but honestly, kelly is so much more than the store. she is- amazing. she has lived this crazy life and done everything you could think of. she's owned a bar, dated a football player, been engaged to a record producer, survived cancer, got a quickie marriage (and divorce) in vegas, moved to LA for a brief stint, and now is happily married and living in the suburbs, running this great store on antique row. she is, as i said before...amazing. i usually go visit her at least once a week to try on all the new jewelry and drink wine (she Always has wine) and chat about life. and she never fails to cheer me up.
this year though we've grown closer. i feel like she's actually my friend. when i'm sad i can go there. and have wine. and listen to her tell me stories about her life and give me pep talk about mine. to make me feel young and in charge of my life she told me the story of her 30th birthday- which ended in her puking on the sidewalk on south street with the guy from jim's steaks offering her the outdoor hose to rinse out her mouth. and see? somehow she's happy and successful- so i can be too!! (she's currently 42, so it's not like this was yesterday). she is always telling me that i have so much time to be wild and make mistakes and have fun and then get it all right. she knows i'm not actually wild and don't like making mistakes, but she's encouraging anyway.
her most recent encouragement has been by way of the vision board. in case you have no idea what i am talking about i will explain:
a vision board is a board (can be a poster board or cork board or mirror or anything that you can tack/tape things to) filled with things you want in your life. pictures, words, metaphors- it doesn't matter. whatever you want in life, short term, long term, as long a you really want it- goes on the vision board. you can add to it as you see fit, but you have to keep it around somewhere where you'll see it on a regular basis. and the idea is that you create this board of things that you want in your life and you look at it on a daily basis and imagine yourself having/getting those things. they can be material or relational or spiritual or whatever. for example, kelly used to have a the specific car she wanted (a blue jeep wrangler) on her first vision board- and eventually she got it and rode it all over the place for years. she also had santorini on there...she went for her 40th birthday. she had a $1200 gucci bag, and recently found it on sale for $400 ("the universe put it on sale"). she also has the house in the woods she's always wanted, and a picture of the pet turtle she wants to get once she's in the house.
this is the beauty of the vision board. you can be as specific as you want- and it's just for you! no one else has to see it! so there's no one to judge.
kelly and i were talking one day a few weeks ago about how crazy i've been feeling and how i fear i won't ever figure out the bigger picture of my life. and she said "honey, you've got loads of time...but you need to make a vision board!! put it out there to the universe what you want- and it will provide! but you've gotta ask! you've gotta want it and be positive and know that you're gonna get everything you've ever wanted!". apparently kelly has gotten everything she put on her first vision board, and quite a few things from her current one. and she looks at it everyday while she's on the treadmill.
this has been a common theme for me lately: ask and the universe will provide. you know how much i love talking to the universe. what started as a last ditch effort has now become a hobby. talking to the ether about what i'm doing with my life and how i want to better it- it's oddly comforting. and that's the whole thing behind the vision board. you figure out what you want in life- and you put it out there that you want it. and then you go about figuring out how to get it. (and you hope the universe is feeling generous).
kelly felt so strongly about me making a vision board she TOOK A MIRROR OFF THE WALL OF HER STORE and handed it to me to use. she likes using mirrors because that way you can put stuff on it and then leave a space in the middle to see yourself surrounded by all the things you want. and you have to stay positive, of course- something that is challenging for me sometimes. but it's something i've really been working on.
so- when your very own annie potts takes a mirror off of her store wall for you to create your very own vision board- you have you fucking do it. because how many people do that for you? believe in you and encourage you and let you drink a bottomless glass of wine while trying on jewelry they know you won't be buying. it's like the universe put her around the corner from me so that we could find each other. (i have brought her a lot of business, after all).
so, here:
here is a glimpse of my vision board. its a mirror-(so the middle part is a reflection of my living room)- but if you can see it you'll see there are a lot of random things on there. material (a diane von furstenberg wrap dress), travel destinations (egypt, manchu pichu- to start the ball rolling- more will be added shortly), and metaphorical- the yellow kitchen up in the corner stands for the house i someday want to own (with a porch and a library and a kitchen that will have yellow accents). and there are some other things on there i'm not explaining at the moment. but i'm doing it! putting out to the world what i want, so i can start figuring out and envisioning myself having these things.
and it works! i've already gotten two things on the vision board: 1. a pair of wellies that fit my fat calves :
and if you notice on the vision board i've put a picture of a bikini. that is two-fold. i've never had a bikini (a real one, i own tankini's- which are more...conservative), but also i don't think i've ever had the confidence to Wear a bikini. in public. near a body of water. with people around.
HOWEVER, this weekend i purchased my very first bikini. it's the prettiest shade of blue and i actually think it looks pretty good. i might even wear it this summer (still working on the confidence part, but there is a decent chance). i think it's because of the vision board that i even challenged myself to actually try on a bikini, much less find one i like and buy one. you might say the universe put the perfect bikini in my path!
so- while i am relatively new to the whole positivity/universe giving back/vision board mumbo jumbo- i am a believer in trying new things to make yourself happy. and i think this is worth a go.
i'll also have you know that kelly made me Bring my vision board into the shop for her to see last weekend- so she could check on my progress. annie potts apparently gives homework! she wants to make sure her advice isn't going on deaf ears! and i'm happy to say she was pleased with what i've done thus far. i'll keep adding to it and looking at it and try to put positive vibes out into the universe and see where it gets me.
if you are lucky enough to have your very own annie potts in your life, as i am, listen to them. they have lived. they have things to teach you. they can make you laugh and keep you from crying and make you feel so thankful for your life. hallelujah to that.
well i have my very own annie potts in my life. and her name is kelly.
you may have heard me talk about kelly before. she owns the jewelry/accessories shop around the corner from me (the crystal cage: check it out), and over the years we have become friends. i bring everyone i know to that store- and the ones with a little more disposable income (aka- my mom, aunt and sometimes sister) have bought numerous things from her over the years. i think at christmas i said "we're having a very kelly christmas this year!" because Everyone was getting a present from her store.
but honestly, kelly is so much more than the store. she is- amazing. she has lived this crazy life and done everything you could think of. she's owned a bar, dated a football player, been engaged to a record producer, survived cancer, got a quickie marriage (and divorce) in vegas, moved to LA for a brief stint, and now is happily married and living in the suburbs, running this great store on antique row. she is, as i said before...amazing. i usually go visit her at least once a week to try on all the new jewelry and drink wine (she Always has wine) and chat about life. and she never fails to cheer me up.
this year though we've grown closer. i feel like she's actually my friend. when i'm sad i can go there. and have wine. and listen to her tell me stories about her life and give me pep talk about mine. to make me feel young and in charge of my life she told me the story of her 30th birthday- which ended in her puking on the sidewalk on south street with the guy from jim's steaks offering her the outdoor hose to rinse out her mouth. and see? somehow she's happy and successful- so i can be too!! (she's currently 42, so it's not like this was yesterday). she is always telling me that i have so much time to be wild and make mistakes and have fun and then get it all right. she knows i'm not actually wild and don't like making mistakes, but she's encouraging anyway.
her most recent encouragement has been by way of the vision board. in case you have no idea what i am talking about i will explain:
a vision board is a board (can be a poster board or cork board or mirror or anything that you can tack/tape things to) filled with things you want in your life. pictures, words, metaphors- it doesn't matter. whatever you want in life, short term, long term, as long a you really want it- goes on the vision board. you can add to it as you see fit, but you have to keep it around somewhere where you'll see it on a regular basis. and the idea is that you create this board of things that you want in your life and you look at it on a daily basis and imagine yourself having/getting those things. they can be material or relational or spiritual or whatever. for example, kelly used to have a the specific car she wanted (a blue jeep wrangler) on her first vision board- and eventually she got it and rode it all over the place for years. she also had santorini on there...she went for her 40th birthday. she had a $1200 gucci bag, and recently found it on sale for $400 ("the universe put it on sale"). she also has the house in the woods she's always wanted, and a picture of the pet turtle she wants to get once she's in the house.
this is the beauty of the vision board. you can be as specific as you want- and it's just for you! no one else has to see it! so there's no one to judge.
kelly and i were talking one day a few weeks ago about how crazy i've been feeling and how i fear i won't ever figure out the bigger picture of my life. and she said "honey, you've got loads of time...but you need to make a vision board!! put it out there to the universe what you want- and it will provide! but you've gotta ask! you've gotta want it and be positive and know that you're gonna get everything you've ever wanted!". apparently kelly has gotten everything she put on her first vision board, and quite a few things from her current one. and she looks at it everyday while she's on the treadmill.
this has been a common theme for me lately: ask and the universe will provide. you know how much i love talking to the universe. what started as a last ditch effort has now become a hobby. talking to the ether about what i'm doing with my life and how i want to better it- it's oddly comforting. and that's the whole thing behind the vision board. you figure out what you want in life- and you put it out there that you want it. and then you go about figuring out how to get it. (and you hope the universe is feeling generous).
kelly felt so strongly about me making a vision board she TOOK A MIRROR OFF THE WALL OF HER STORE and handed it to me to use. she likes using mirrors because that way you can put stuff on it and then leave a space in the middle to see yourself surrounded by all the things you want. and you have to stay positive, of course- something that is challenging for me sometimes. but it's something i've really been working on.
so- when your very own annie potts takes a mirror off of her store wall for you to create your very own vision board- you have you fucking do it. because how many people do that for you? believe in you and encourage you and let you drink a bottomless glass of wine while trying on jewelry they know you won't be buying. it's like the universe put her around the corner from me so that we could find each other. (i have brought her a lot of business, after all).
here is a glimpse of my vision board. its a mirror-(so the middle part is a reflection of my living room)- but if you can see it you'll see there are a lot of random things on there. material (a diane von furstenberg wrap dress), travel destinations (egypt, manchu pichu- to start the ball rolling- more will be added shortly), and metaphorical- the yellow kitchen up in the corner stands for the house i someday want to own (with a porch and a library and a kitchen that will have yellow accents). and there are some other things on there i'm not explaining at the moment. but i'm doing it! putting out to the world what i want, so i can start figuring out and envisioning myself having these things.
and it works! i've already gotten two things on the vision board: 1. a pair of wellies that fit my fat calves :
HOWEVER, this weekend i purchased my very first bikini. it's the prettiest shade of blue and i actually think it looks pretty good. i might even wear it this summer (still working on the confidence part, but there is a decent chance). i think it's because of the vision board that i even challenged myself to actually try on a bikini, much less find one i like and buy one. you might say the universe put the perfect bikini in my path!
so- while i am relatively new to the whole positivity/universe giving back/vision board mumbo jumbo- i am a believer in trying new things to make yourself happy. and i think this is worth a go.
i'll also have you know that kelly made me Bring my vision board into the shop for her to see last weekend- so she could check on my progress. annie potts apparently gives homework! she wants to make sure her advice isn't going on deaf ears! and i'm happy to say she was pleased with what i've done thus far. i'll keep adding to it and looking at it and try to put positive vibes out into the universe and see where it gets me.
if you are lucky enough to have your very own annie potts in your life, as i am, listen to them. they have lived. they have things to teach you. they can make you laugh and keep you from crying and make you feel so thankful for your life. hallelujah to that.
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