i have a new job (starting on Valentine's Day), and i'm dating someone. i think.
i mean, we are dating. i just think that i'm a terrible dater. like, truly.
and i want to be better.
because when the universe answers you, you don't spit it its eye by acting a fool. even if you did ask for no more emotional fuck-ups, and said universe provided a partially fucked up lovely young man. i still feel like i need to do my part.
we are going...slowly. delightfully slowly. except for the part where we talk everyday, can talk about anything, i have met some of his friends, and i think about him waaaaaaayyyy to much. it doesn't seem that slow after all.
when we are together, i feel good. i feel confident about how things are going, how he feels, and how i feel. i don't think too much. i'm just happy.
and then....and then. when i am home alone, my mind wanders. sometimes, i feel like i am too available. and should be dating other people to prevent myself from getting too involved. and don't know how to be someones girlfriend. and will become boring and crazy until he loses interest in me. and i probably look terrible naked because i ate too many brownies today. and i think about this too much how the FUCK do i stop thinking about this before i go COMPLETELY INSANE.
these, and many more, are why i am terrible at dating. but i really really want this to work. i think. so i'm going to just write about it in an attempt to stop myself from freaking out and doing dumb things. and keep my fingers crossed.
the universe has never listened to me like this before. i don't want to seem unappreciative.
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