blahday

i came back to philly late last night- to avoid sunday traffic on a holiday weekend, and have the day to get things done and relax. instead, i woke up in a bad mood. i stayed in bed all morning and only got out of bed just before 2 to go to the gym. i realized it was nice out, probably for the last time in a while- so i showered and went out to run some errands.

i procured larry's christmas present, and a new bath mat. i then went to wegman's, where i was pleasantly surprised to find that my favorite dark chocolate covered raisins were back in the bulk candy aisle. this perked up my day a bit. sad, but true. i got some gyuza and a spicy tuna roll and came on home to settle in for the night.

and here i am- sunday night and feeling restless. i called overstock.com about the damaged bed frame they sent me. i updated my facebook picture. i watched the end of reality bites on one of my many movie channels. i gave in and texted pete when i was supposed to be waiting for him to initiate some kind of conversation. so now i'm feeling guilty and restless. and there's nothing to watch on tv. and i should be doing schoolwork, but i'm sick of class (with only 2 weeks left to go!) i keep thinking about going ice skating, and finishing my christmas shopping. i think about movies i want to see, friends i want to spend time with. but i feel down. i dont want to go to work tomorrow. i don't want to deal with my coworkers. i just want to hide in my office until christmas.

i was supposed to go on a date today, but i never heard back from the designated date. greg, is his name. or was- perhaps he died. and i dont really even care. today, dating seems like a chore. i know i should have a better attitude about it. maybe i will tomorrow. but dating, particularly online dating, is annoying. it's not natural or fluid. and it doesn't make me feel happy or excited. which honestly, is what you should feel like before you go on a date. and it's not low-self esteem making me feel like this. i know i'm a good date. i'm somewhat attractive and fun and talkative when i need to be. i think i'm easy to get to know, and definitely easy to spend a few hours with. i just don't care right now. because i feel blah. and it's times like this i wish i had someone i had already gone through the whole 'dating' thing with, and could just be comfortable with and have around. that would make me feel happier than the idea of dating. and then i could get into my giant queen-sized bed with lots of fluffy pillows and not feel so blah.

lifetime movie syndrome

for kelly.

it's almost thanksgiving. time seems to be flying by. and i am slowly turning into a cat lady. well, at least that's how it feels today. in reality my life is busy and...i don't know. fine. pretty good.

so i'm getting a new bed. updating from a full to a queen! very exciting. my dad came down yesterday, and we went to sleepy's- where i was accosted about my status as a single woman by the lady working there. you usually don't see ladies working in mattress stores. but there she was, asking me if i 'sleep alone'. rub it in lady. in your skirt business suit. telling me i can come back for a second pillow when i get a boyfriend. thanks lady. thanks. anyway it's being delivered on wednesday. with a free set of sheets and a pillow thrown in, perhaps to apologize for making me wear a sandwich board that says 'single' while in the store. and i'm excited about it.

work was fine. i'm getting sick of it. but honestly, it's not so bad. i'm just itchy for a change. some time off for the holidays will be good.

the best part of my day was when i received not one, but two phone calls from friends i was waiting to hear from. and it was so nice getting to catch up with them! katie, who is pregnant, is finding out the sex of the baby tomorrow!! and she's coming to visit in three weeks! and it's all just very exciting! i'm so excited to just be able to talk to her and hang out without goon around (no offense goon). but it's going to be cool.

then i caught up with jared- who's life is sadly not as exciting as the doctors on grey's anatomy- but he is much cooler than those characters anyway. one of the things i love about jared is that he just knows me. i can tell him all these embarrassing stories and complain about my love life and just life- and he gets it. and its nice. comforting and nice.

which brings me to my current position- on the couch, with gizmo, my cat, at my side. watching a lifetime movie that i dvr'd last night. in my defense, it's staring michelle pfeiffer and ashton kutcher. but come on, it's still a lifetime movie. which brings me one step closer to actually becoming the cat lady i'm afraid of becoming. thankfully the rest of my week looks to be more promising.

i think i need to make some changes in my life.